Monday, February 28, 2011

What makes me tick tick boom

It turns out you can't duct tape back together everything. Science doesn't work that way :( . So I duct taped science. Allllllll better now. I'm going to tape electromagnetism to thermodynamics and just watch the fireworks. Someone should fill a volcano with fireworks. It'd be awesome. Possibly deadly, but so is everything else. Like microchips or the state of Wyoming.

I'm on to you.

Am I crazy? If I went crazy, how could you tell? If sanity is Self Control then I suppose I'm sane. But self-control is a choice. So is sanity? What other Measure do we have, really? Perhaps sanity is rational. But we're irrational creatures. We love, we cry, we fart. You could say that it's the ability to apply rationality in our decision making processes. Then again you could also say Whoop Whoop Rocky Bum Gargle-Gargle. So really, perhaps sanity is just sticking to certain norms. We're all as sane as we choose to be, really. Except for crazy people.

The morality of Dungeons & Dragons (tm) is actually making me think. What does it really mean to be neutral, from a moral perspective? Dungeons && Dragons (==true) just says that it's between good and evil. Well, so's peanut butter, what's your pencil? Perhaps neutral is moral impartiality, but is this not just amorality? What differentiates amorality from immorality? The immoral do not follow moral codes - so do the amoral. The immoral also do not always deviate from moral standards, that is they do not childishly do the opposite for the sake of it. A bank robber tends to drive on the right side of the road, after all. Moral Black & White (Creature Isle) doesn't make sense either, of course. I don't know.

It's not a hard concept. It's in fact a very soft concept, it really needs to go on a Diet. Get off the couch and Do something, Did it earn that degree for nothing? Look at it, its....oh wait I had a point. Anymore, anyway, It's just no adherence to absolutes. But good & evil can be without absolutes as well. Siths cannot, however. So what I'm getting at is whether the first three Star Wars movies were a greater crime than ever?

I can't be serious because then you'll yell at me :( . I Know it. I am your jester. At least, that's what you think. Slowly I'll convert you to My way of thinking. You'll find yourself throwing Ducks without knowing why, Or wondering if you could catch Fire if you were just a bit quicker. Wait I don't do either of Those. But it'll scare you all the same :oD . You'll become more and More Like me....did you just get the shivers? Funny, I do all the time! All the time, all of it.

If I was A Wizard, and I mean like actual master of Arcane arts and not some dorky British kid........wait, frick, I am a dorky British (kinda) kid................I wouldn't screw around. I'd be like "Hey guys, magic!" *fwoosh* and turn a bicycle into the 1960s or something. This is why magic hasn't been discovered yet :( . There'd be no super-secret society guarding its use and regulating it perfectly. There can't be such perfection. That'd be....magic! Wait frick. Still. There'd be some duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude somewhere who'd screw up or just not care. So I think I need to go out and discover magic. Oh it's out there. Maybe if I was to compress some children's laughter or just dig around in a mayan pyramid or maybe do a lot of drugs or something. What if magic were real but only really, really high people could access it? Wouldn't that be hilarious? No? Oh...


No, we're still not talking.


Stop scrolling.



Okay I'm better. What I really just want is the power to create invisible bicycles. Just think about this. I'd just be Talking to someone, want to go, and go "Huh that's really interesting, but..." and Swing My leg up and suddenly fly off like I was riding a bike........only there wouldn't be one visible :O :O :O . It's hilarious. Okay, I lied, I also want guinea pig vision. *Beowm* guinea pig appears. Also, that is the Best sound Effect. I win.

Ever look at a word so long that it suddenly seems nonsensical? That means you have cancer.

GUYS I'M WORKING ON A VIDEO GAME NO SPOILERS NO SPOILERS NO SPOILERS *SPOILERS* IT'S A HENTAI GAME */SPOILERS* . Naaaaaaaah. Though I should talk to Jellybeans about that......wait I mean Liam. Oh heck, I meant Jellybeans. I wonder if our tastes intersect at all////////hmm.

Candy is Dandy but Jefferson was a racist. A handy little mnemonic. Holy grilled cheese that's a weird word. Enough on Etymology (no I don't know what bugs have to do with any of this D: ) I've decided That one of my past lives was a cloud. I've decided all our past Lives were Clouds. That's why we Like watching them So Much. Also because We're all Tripping Balls. You're not Tripping Balls? Sounds like the Kind of Claim Someone who was Tripping Balls would Make^? (Logical not)

The second stage is bargaining....or the third stage? Either way those people on the antique Roadshow Need counselling. Also the people Who watch That Show. Or the Price Is right. That's right. I'm handing out Judgement like the Catholic Church at Rapture. Next on my list are Palaeontologists. YOUR FIELD IS THE STUDY OF DEAD THINGS, YOU'RE LIKE BIOLOGISTS WHO COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH IT. What, sloths move too fast for you? Sloths. You're all next. You and Tapirs.

Hey, Remember that Thing Where I'm slowly Driving you all Insane? That's definitely Still a Thing. Embrace it. Also, Embrace me. I like hugs :3 . Coooooooome together, right now (over me). Ew.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Please hold this to your ear

Dafunk back to the punk come on. Words to live by. If you don't know them, then I guess your taste in music just sucks. Kidding :D (You have no taste at All). I'm not just going to ramble about my favourite oh hey wait spellcheck wants me to spell favourite with a 'u' finally sanity things because that'd be boring. Have fun parsing that sentence. Or for you none-geeks...."reading" . Yea, sure, whatever. Crazy dudes & chicks & chickdudes. Rock on with your bad selves. Or FUNK on. Boosh waka bwoo wika wika boosh. I am giving you a thumbs up right now. ^3 maybe? There's nothing close. ^3 .

My true alignment is Chaotic Hedgehog. Hedgehog is a moral stance. I wish it was/were/./ my spirit animal as well, but That was taken by the Crazy train. Or was it the colour woah hey colour has a 'u' too but I keep forgetting them because it was beaten Out of me by my Elementary school Teachers blue. I like blue. A lot. I've heard it can prevent suicides. So if I wear Blue, does that Make me a Super Hero? Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeessssssss. There you go Colin, that one Was For You.

Nevermind The Slacks And Bashers. I Too love mashed Potatoes. It's been Far too long since I've Had any. :( . Did you know That instant Mashed potatoes Exist? It's a Bag Of powder, and You stir In water And Milk.....And Then you Potatoes! It's Freaky. You have A Freaking bag of Powder....and It Turns Into Potatoes. What. The. Heckballstoaster. I mean Really. What next, Powdered Toddlers? It's the Only logical Footstool.


I Have a New Life motto! So Long As you always Have Duct Tape, A cutting Edge, and Your (oh my God I Spelt That As you're The First Time What Is wrong with Me) wits About You you Can't Go Wrong. I carry a Thing of Duct Tape Around with me Now. It's really Useful. I can Tape Down Things like Pens, Tools, the Tape Itself, Small animals, and George. I only have A Couple Of Those things Left On My checklist. I just Need to Find a George.

Bwahahahahahahahah heee hheeeeee hhohooo hooooo haha$#$%^%$#

That popped Out As A nearly Syymettricall Pattern! I must Be A Genius. Well, I already Knew That. The Aliens told Me. I signal them By Eating Strange Mushrooms I find In The Forest. Ingenious Mechanism. I just Wish They'd Stop bringing Colors that Don't Exist With them. Or Bears.

Oh My God I just remembered Sloths. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

So How Are all of You? What? Whaaaat? Yell into The Keyboard, I Can't Hear You. No, Ye- Yell into It! Yeeeeeeeell Into it! What? What I can't Hear You?

This Is me Yelling into The(y) Keyboard by the Way. Don't ask How It Works. They Keyboard Just Knows Better. We've Been Together For a While. I rub Off on Things I'm Around. Not Like That You Pervert. Well okay Sometimes.

If I had More Music, Or Even More Musice, Would I still Listen To Daft Punk all The Time? It Is The Eternal Question. Yep. Eternal. Archimedes put It Best; "<Greek junk> <More greek junk> <Greeeeeeeek>" It wasn't a perfect Translation o_() .

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I Think I'm going to Go Give My Dinosaur A walk. No, That's not A Euphemism. It Isn't a Eunuch either. I Think....who'd Check?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Life Lessons

Brought to you by pain. Okay, Life lesson number 1. Life is formed spontaneously when gooey organic matter things decide they've got s##t to do and need to get it done. So they get together and form dinosaurs. Unfortunately, dinosaurs are too awesome, and too large, and there's no more room for anything else. So Dinosaurs and Space had an awesome competition. Dinosaurs won after a bloody battle that killed thousands but led to the rise of America as a superpower, but then Space through a tantrum and Dinosaurs were all like "Fiiiine, we don't need you." and so moved on to non-space dimensions. If the Large Hadron Collider was 3% bigger, particle accelerations and collisions would start to produce high-energy velociraptors. Which would be a friggen awesome way to die, but you would die, because it's impossible to keep a saddle on them. You cannot know a dinosaur's position and velocity at the same time, because if you do that means you're about to get eated. Also, for every dinosaur there is an equal and opposite dinosaur. And that's why the ostrich exists.

Life lesson #2 . I just kept up a theme for more than one paragraph. Awwwwww yyyeeeaaahh.

Life lesson #3 . Ladies. Tired of getting pregnant? Get him pregnant instead. All you need to do is completely disregard all known biology. Also, his bellybutton. It's the orifice with the closest access to where babies grow. Babies grow directly in the stomach, so that they can get their share of nutrients the mother/father consumes. That's where the phrase "eating for two" comes from, and why BJs can get you pregnant. While most women elect to poop out the baby, because it's the natural flow of the digestive tract, it is more than possible to vomit up your newborn child. And that's why the ostrich exists.

Life lesson #4 . WTF sloths?

Life lesson #5 . No, seriously, sloths. When did evolution go "you know what? This thing needs to be *slower* or it'll never make it."

Life lesson #6 . Friggen sloths.

Life lesson #7 . When raising children, remember that they respond in the same ways as animals. Teach them what to do by rewarding them, such as not chewing on things you want intact or not humping your leg. Teach them what not to do with a taser. Don't rub their noses in poop though, that doesn't work. Sicko. Also, program in a few quirks for good measure. Condition your children to be afraid of footstools. Or to attack anyone wearing a plaid shirt. That last one falls under 'civic duty' . We will eradicate this menace.

Life lesson #8 . Life lesson #8 was going to be this huge description about how you could build your own time machine, go back and punch your grandma, and fracture reality, but then I realized that was getting a little tangential. Maybe next time.

Life lesson #9 "The birds and the bees" is a phrase that comes from the fact that before the 1960s, no one knew how sex actually worked. Seriously, they thought birds and bees were doing it. It's lucky your parents managed to be born. All sex was invented in a ten year span accumulating (haha, cum) in 1969, which even got one of the most widespread sexual acrobatics named after it. Since then, no one has done anything new. Nope. Highlight has come and passed. There was a brief attempt to revitalize it in the 80s, but no one remembers the 80s. Anyway, that's why ostriches exist.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Missed Opportunity

I slept so little recently how have I not posted. I can't believe it. Partially it was that I was busy and partially I somehow didn't get crazy. I guess my mind was focused or I was too buzzed or something? I like coding :| . I'm such a nerd. It's all just puzzles. It isn't work. And if I'm at it long enough then I can always beat it. Always. Bwahahagagaoolalawantyourbadromance

Rah rah. Tentacles. They're disgusting. But octopi are so swwwweeeet. And deadly. They're too smart. They will take over everything. But it'll be okay because they'll be benevolent and let us ride around on their backs. Just remember the future, when we'll be riding around on giant octopussies, spears in hand, hunting tortoisous.

I want magic to be real, consequences be darned. It'd really hurt my major since technology would be all haywire and maybe not even necessary, not as much. Oh, and sciences would have a really hard time with that whole "rational world" thing. But still MAGIC. I could fly. Sure, so could other people, but I'd Wheeeeeeeeee. I suppose large anarchy would happen. But we could use a restructuring of everything anyway. Like a rubix cube. Only with MAJICK . MAHJICKS are more MWAHJICKALL the more letters you put in it.

I really shouldn't be posting. I'm doing a lot of coding, but at the expense of keeping up in other work. I need to stop that. I'll get back on top of it....somehow. Maybe with MAJYCKS . OH GOD THE LIGHTS ARE FLICKERING I'VE SUMMONED THE MAJYCKS.

I'll get back to you guys. Sometimes these posts will be Vriska. I mean short.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Level 73 Cheese

My prestige class is hammers. I like two digit primes, they're pretty easy to find. Ends in one? Probbs. Otherwise, check if it ends in 3, 7, or 9, and most of the time all you gotta check is if it divides by 3 or 7. Maybe there's a rule for that or something, I don't know. 3 digit primes are usually harder.

I don't care what anyone says, I'm not going to asdfmkvclxnvmas'accccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

WOAH WHAT HAPPENED THERE IT'S ALMOST AS IF I FELL ASLEEP HA. HA. HA. So what was I talking about? Oh yes, sexuality. There's heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, asexuals, pansexuals, and pterodactyls. Pansexuals have an eight-foot wingspan and a complex nervous system throughout their wings to help them measure elevation, orientation, and wind. It's terrifying. I like running but my body betrays me and gets winded. I need to fixx that but when would I time?

It took me a long time to get home tonight because I kept kicking the snowpiles. I have no idea why. Destructive impulse? I'm a horrid, horrid person ._. . I probably wou d'awwwwwwwwwww._. looks so cute in this font it's adorable.

If God, why chopsticks?

Everything we do is sex. Every action is just some surrogate for sex. Or foreplay. Cuddling? We can cuddle when we're dead. Oooh, bury me with my stuffed animals. Then I can bring them to heaven and have the best bed ever ^_^ all the other angels will be jealous and Chopsticks will be like "frick, that was what heaven was missing" and make me department head of stuffed animals and other pillowy matters.

I kid of course. Heaven has no bureaucracy. IT'S COMMUNIST. Yea. Suck it, McCarthy. Only don't, that'd be creepy and wrong ._. . Heh heh, there he is again!

I don't know what to think of me. Sometimes I think I'm just being silly because I have low inhibitions and am actually crazy. Other times I'm worried I'm secretly looking for attention, because I used to do that as a kid. I don't think so though, or I hope not, because

What was I talking about? I had to rub my eye. It's funny, I have a terminal window open and in the bar thing? the tray? Anyway, down there it shows :~/D.... for the directory I'm in, and I see :~D which is a funny face. I should use that :~D . I have just invented.

I like magnets. I want that ferrofluid stuff now. Though I'd probably manage to a) maim myself, 2) set something on fire, blue) damage something valuable, No) All of the above.

1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89 144 233 377 610 987 1597 2584 4181 6765 10946 ThisIsntFunAnymore

I'm really tired. I want to go to bed. I was gonna say I want to bed but I do that too often. I need to keep it Fresh. So fresh it's frezh. Fresh FRESH EXCITING. Exiting. You are now leaving sanity. Please keep your luggage in the upright and sasquatch position. We will be flying at an altitude of 600 Hz and our probability distribution is a Gaussian curve.

WHAT AM I SAYING OF COURSE PEANUT BUTTER IS DELICIOUS. Sometimes I just eat pickles slices, but I've gotten better. Getting tired of the antiVampire herb. If there's antipasta, why isn't there antipizza? And would anyone eat it? I wish I could make upside down question marks. I think they'd?taste better. H is roughly the center letter on my keyboard.

I think I need to try writings again or something. Not as a brain dump but as a constructive pastime, something fun and more productive than youtube. Jules calls it Youtweeb. I kinda like that. I like screwing with language. It deserves it, after all it put me through. And I was so young /sob. The relative path is ~/sob. Oh No I've Become A Linux. I guess Linus WhatsHisFace bit me while I was sleeping or something? Which is weird because usually he waits until I'm awke for that.

If I had laser vision I'd be awesome. None of that cyclops shenanigans either. GLOWING. RED> EYES>


Oh lawd what if that screws up the blog. Ahhh, I' sorry blog! I'm so sorry. I guess I'll have to find someone else ;_; . Just like next semester apparently, when all these chool (yes, chool, it's school x cool (cartesian product)) high schoolers will be going away :( . I already did this once. COME BACK. I PROMISE I'LL BE GENTLER THIS TIME. WE....YOU CAN BE THE BIG SPOON?

Fine, I don't need you guys anyway :( . I'll have fun with all my other friends and it'll be great and we won't even remember you and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I do emotion really well. I should act. Wait, I already do. It's this great play called MY LIFE and you're all bit players. 8-bit to be precise.

Do Dee Do Do Dooo. I think that's some music of some sort, you'll probably fill in the rest. Tell me what you came up with, kthxbai? I'm so sleepy. I guess I will sleep after all. But I'll feel sucky about it when I wake up. Liam, I can understand why you are the way you are in mornings if this is what chu do. I'll be nicer about it from now on, I promise, kay?

I think that last question mark is like a hook about to grab that y. Maybe hitch it and tow it away? I don't even know. I....

What on earth am I talking about?


Okay, this is going to be me all intellectual and pretentious as if I know what I'm talking about. Man I love balloons. I have no idea why.

Let's dissect video games. It's going to be bloody, so get on your hockey mask and prime the chainsaw.

Where to start? I had this idea the other day. All "leveling" and general character progression in video games can be classified as belonging to one of two axis. Either lateral development or vertical, or in more useful terms either skill expansion or skill refinement. It's a fine point in most cases, but it helps understand the mechanics at play. Let's explain by example.

A game heavy on skill expansion is the Legend of Zelda titles. Link doesn't spend a lot of time getting "better". There is some of that - more powerful swords and more hearts - but this is not the driving mechanic. It gives the game a pretty low difficulty curve, since you can never ignore "weaker" enemies, although your ability to survive them remains. You never gain real mastery. Okay, having described the opposite of what I intended, here's my point. The games revolve around lateral movement - instead of getting better or stronger, Link spends most of his time broadening his skill set. He gains abilities like that of ranged attack, but manoeuvrability bonuses feature heavily - iron boots, hookshots, deku leaves. This opens up more and more of the world, giving a kind of exploration mastery rather than combative. Often these abilities play into combat, but selectively, and often as what amounts to a secondary effect. The player is encouraged to use these devices imaginatively, and the absolute greatest example of this is the wind waker and deku leaf combo. By angling the wind correctly, and finding the right ledge, you could explore areas of the land that looked completely inaccessible. Blind corners were rare but present, encouraging an observant eye especially. As another example, take bombs. By any other game's standard, bombs are an essential offensive tool! But in LoZ they're very unwieldy, impractical except in very specific circumstances that make even their few actual combat applications more a matter of strategy than power. Mostly, however, they are used to explore, and the observant Zelda player (particularly in the earlier games) could find a myriad of treasures. This is the essence of lateral movement. You were gaining new abilities that applied in a range of circumstances, and were (almost) never made obsolete or supplanted. People often jokingly criticise the dozens of items Link totes around, but nearly all of them take on an essential character.

On the other end of the spectrum you have the Pokemon games (okay this is nintendo heavy, sue me!) which deal almost exclusively in vertical movement. Let me once again back up and explain what lateral movement they have. The HMs. Poorly implemented at times, they serve the same function as Link's boomerang. But most of the time the only "obstacle" (besides being heavily scripted) is level. How strong are your abilities? Even most moves are simply replacements of older ones - ember becomes flamethrower, scratch to slash, tail whip to screech. If you cannot enter an area (and survive) it's typically a matter of not being strong enough, not of not having the wrong abilities as it would be in LoZ.

You'll notice that neither of my examples are perfectly dedicated towards one or the other. That's because it's very difficult to construct one dedicated to just one system of movement. Imagine link with only three hearts, or Pokemon with no HMs . Both are doable, but you'd have to significantly alter the games to fit around these absences to the point it'd be rather awkward - you'd need to make Pokemon even more heavily scripted, creating random obstacles like the man standing outside of Mewtwo's dungeon in Red & Blue. To use an entirely non-video-game example, Dungeons & Dragons balances these two nearly perfectly. You're mostly concerned with increasing your chosen skills and occasionally your abilities, but feats are giving you more abilities and special features, as well as class features that, being dependent on level up, blur vertical and lateral movement.

What does this all mean? It means that you can help set your game's tone based off of which type of movement you're concerned with. Lateral games are great for exploration, allowing you to hide things behind item-specific blockades. You can make a vertical-based exploration game, like Fallout 3, but you'll never make a puzzle game of the same caliber. Also Fallout 3 is a soft vertical-based game, as it levels the game to the player. Quests will always contain some vertical growth, however, as this establishes the challenge the game provides, usually from a combat standpoint. The final fantasy games showcase this - by the end of the game, your level 80 guys are fighting extraplanar demons, and this just wouldn't be acceptable in a lateral-based game without some mechanic (*cough* triforce) that explains (circumvents) this discrepancy between apparent ableness between fighter and enemy.

I forgot the point I was making. Hope this is interesting.

Friday, February 4, 2011

I am so high right now

Like, seven stories. I forget that seven stories is a lot. Partially because the staircase is so narrow and closed that you don't really get a sense of the height. I did recently, standing on the third floor because that is the first one you can look up the center of the spiraling stairs from, and looking up like that I saw all the spirals all the way up. Seven is so freaking high! But it's become such a non issue. I can't believe how easily we become conditioned to such things. It has left me nonplussed. Like the sine of three pi over two. Or, the sign of the sine specifically. Boy, that's funnier said than written and it's not funny then.

I solved a rubik's cube today! Okay, I had to ask for help. But not help like I had it done for me. Just help on how to solve it. The methods are a bit convoluted, so I don't feel bad not figuring them out. I'm sure that with enough time, and not just "oh I have a few hours" but I mean "Oh, I'm locked in a cabin for a week with nothing but this cube and some paper", and some paper and maybe even some spare cubes that I could figure out everything. I know people have. But I guess I just don't have the mind for that. I should really work on that.

Sometimes I get frustrated by how much I cannot do, but I realize that that's stupid and it's all a matter of application, time, and specialization. No one can do everything! I'm sure there are people out there that wish for my skillset. Which is....managing to function as sane despite the fact that realistically, I should have snapped three times. Every day I don't wear my pants around my face and holler about the lobster king is a successful day.

Oh curse words, my mozzarella sticks were overheated and burst. Oh, hey, I spelt mozzarella right. Whee! ^_^

I love that face ^_^ but I'm not a weeaboo. What am I to do? Pokemon.

I want to be, the very best. Like no one ever was. To catch them is my real test, to train them is my caaaaaaauuuse. I will travel, across the land, searching far and wide. Aaaahhhh I can't think of it off the top of my head. I'll remember it if I hear it sung. I'm sure I can hear that from my many, many nerdy friends. Btw, Liam, after a few days you still going over the poke-anime girls is just going to look creepy :P . Stop staring at Milktank's.....udders.

Haha, that's a euphemism of boobs. Euphemism reminds me of eunuchs.

I want to make this daily but I don't always have the mood :| . Maybe I should make it weekly. I want to keep it regular BECAUSE I'M INSANE AND EVERYTHING HAS TO BE NEAT AND A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE AND A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE AND A PLACE FOR because otherwise I'll never keep at it. Maybe I'm approaching it wrong. Maybe I should come in with a topic in mind now.

Still, I think of random things throughout the day and don't write them down. I should.


Thursday, February 3, 2011

That last post lied in the title

I don't really feel like adding but I'm going to anyway in order to keep this going. Got to get momentum. It is mass times velocity. And velocity is the exactly same thing as speed. Don't let physicists tell you otherwise. Also, unicorns are real and Jupiter isn't a planet. JuPiTeR. Wheeee. I like Jupiter because it's wicked awesome. Such extreme conditions, and it's basically as close a planet can get to a star (okay not really, but practically).

Wow, an entire paragraph with nothing zany. Let's see if we can keep it up. So, in other news, Liam didn't like me calling him Jellybeans. Well, so far, I have a list. George = Platypus, Liam = Jellybeans. Me = Awesome = Batman. I'm not really Batman. I don't know why I like him either. Actually, that's a lie. It's because he's got tons of gadgets and gets to run around using them. I'd be an engineer, except they don't offer classes in "Batman gadgets". Really, what are they thinking? Why would anyone become an engineer?

Hmm, what crazy things should I put in here. I love saying now "This is so going in my blog" when something crazy slash irritating happens. I said slash there because an actual slash is not a valid character. I am a machine, and my string parsing sucks. See, non nerds have no idea. They? a?re ?dro?wn?i?ng? in?? q?uest?i?on no??od?le?s. I like string. I don't like playing it. I just like having it. You never know when you're going to need string. Even more, you never know when you could use it. Tying things together, a tiny little lasso (boy that word makes no sense where does lasso come from I pronounce it lassoooooo) for small critters or to fight whales. The string is the natural predator of whales. Also; japanese. The string eats them whole.

Superstrings were a really cool idea, I liked them when I was like 14, but cool ideas are not always real or practical. Like Wyoming or Shark riding.

Cousin Uncle's advice column: Don't punch a shark. Once. Once you've gotten a hit in, lay on that sucker. Just keep going after it. Got a broken beer bottle? Upside it's head. Don't stop. If you stop, the crying will start all the sooner. It took your could it? Despite the yelling, you loved her....why did that horrible shark take her? Does he treat her right? Just because he buys her things and drives that fancy car, works nine to five, does that make him better than you? Doesn't make him better now, does it punk, with him broken on the floor.

So yeah, lay into that....oh wait, a shark as in a fish? Ohhhhhh.

Boy, Cousin Uncle sure is zany. The joke comes from the fact that 'shark' is clearly a replacement word and does not fit into the context. When I explain the joke, it loses its funniness because we are unable to figure out why jokes are funny, so once we engage our rationality it is no longer funny. This proves that irrationality exists. Therefore, magic is real, P=NP, your mother loves you, and when you die you rot in the ground. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Sweet, high scrohe. Yep, I forgot spell.

I'm not addicted to D&D but I like it a lot. I love storytelling, I like imagination - I'm not much of a writer but creativity I have in pasta. I mean excess. Excess pasta can always be stored in the freezer, reheat it in the microwave with a little water. That's why I like D&D.

      / \
     |   |

My manny is evolving. Soon he'll become Manidash. Or Manchu. Haha, Manchu is actually a word! I shall call him Manchu and he shall be my Manchu. Beep peep Manchu.

I should make up more words. But all made up words sound silly, unless they don't. And those words that don't have a basis in real words, and that's not making up words. Q>E>D> Those look like hats. Or beards. :)> . No wait, ice cream cone. O)> . Two scoops~! OO)> . Oh I dropped my icecream :(   )> O . Wat, WAHT | THAW.

Heat, Head, Held, Hold, Cold.

White, While, Whale, Shale, Shake, Slake, Slate, Slats, Slits, Slims, Slime, Slide, Slice, Slick, Slack, Black

Okay, I can't think of any more. That was fun. I enjoy manipulating things like that. Toot Toot.

This was excessively normal. Sorry kiddos :P but this is what you get.

Liam you're still jellybeans.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

This post is exactly 1000 words long.

My socks match my scarf. Just let that sink in for a moment. Yeah. Woah. You okay? Have a moment, it's okay.

Okay? Okay, we're good. Gawd. I had all these random thoughts saved up and yet here we are, screwing around. So the blog's helping because I saved these random thoughts instead of blurting them out, but now I'm not going to get them out. They're just vanishing. Like Amelia Earhart. OH GUYS SHE VANISHED SOMEWHERE IN CONTINENTAL ASIA AND WE COULDN'T FIND HER IT MUST BE A MYSTERY christ on a popsicle really? I mean, it's only the largest landmass we've got (besides your mother) but nooooooo . Also it's Asia. Nope.

Now I'm thinking about the bermuda triangle. Here's the thing. Amelia flew into the center of the triangle and was eaten by the shark from jaws (who is a ghost -_. ) who is also from outer space. Like Amelia. She is superman.

Amelia Earhart can be rearranged into Liam Ae Earhart . Mysterious isn't it. Don't worry, Liam, that doesn't count as your "shout-out" . Also; Liam | maiL . What does it mean? It means double rainbows. Except that's not even a thing. I mean cripes. Everyone knows that was faked. Like the moon landing, or president's day.

ehT noitseuq sah neeb desiar fi I nac nur tuo fo yzarc . The answer is, what do you think? That's right, the question is a question and the answer is an interrogative statement designed to collect information. I've patented the question mark. I know, you just went "What????" and you now owe me $3649 . Yep, perfect squares. Only not. Imagine if that number was a perfect square. You're then living in a world with very strange mathematics, so good luck figuring out your taxes.

  / \

I made a manny. Isn't he adorabibibibibibibibibibibibiibble? Wheeeeeeeeeeeee that's fun. I sure hope that this post preserves spacing. Some sites/sights/cuttlefish don't, like fafacefacebofacebookokbookcebook. There's a pattern to that. It's this: (((()))) . Haha, that looks weird. And it reminds me. Kit! I'm so sorry for calling you lady bits. I didn't mean it like that! I also explained it really bad. I just have random words to mix and match. Ask my sister - "Oh pantsless one" and "mini-yoshi" among other things.

Monica I've learned I can command you now. You will follow the glory of the ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO blog. Bwahahahaha. I shall not use shall be my sleeper agent. Be warned.

I'm not a creeper, I swear. Really. Of course now I sound like one. I wanted to backspace there so I didn't. I want to ac| . I made it look like I was halfway through backspacing there. Hah! Fooled you.

George just asked aloud that someone "f*** me" . No George. No. Just....gog you platypus. Yep, that's sticking now. But it's cool, because platypodes are awesome. They are the only mammal with venom. Also the only mammal born in the heart of jupiter. I kinda want to go to Jupiter. I know it'd kill me, but it'd be so awesome. I read about JUpiter in "The Cosmos" by Carl Sagan - I never got more than a few dozen pages in, I was 10 (i.e. easily distracted and owner of a PS2) . But JUPiter is awesome. All storms and junk. Lightning storms 24/7 . Only it's jupiter so it's probably more like 41/11 . That's right. It's lightning 168% of the time. Because it's freaking JUPIter.


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Is Meta still witty? Like, a meta title? It isn't is it? Frick.

I locked myself out of my room for twenty minutes today, technically longer but those were the minutes it counted. That time made me realize something deep and profound about myself. I am weird. Shocking. For best effect, read that in a deadpan voice. Well, I guess it's too late now. Why aren't you precisient? That word's misspelled but spellchecker can't figure out what I mean so screw it.

In that time, I walked 36 flights of stairs. I then took the elevator, because 36 = 6 x 6 = 4 x 9 . Not only is it a perfect square, but it is the product of the first two perfect squares. Before you ask me about 1 x 1, realize I mean the first two perfect squares that matter. Suck it, identity element. I explored Myles as best I could. I think I need to break in to more buildings because I have so much fun snooping around, finding nooks and crannies, and going places I haven't been. It's more fun indoors than out because we build ourselves little mazes. But where's the cheese? The player's manual suggests that the ancient sorcerers split the cheese wheel of power into sixteen pieces and spread them across the campus to hide them from the dark prince Kyle. Haha, you're going to be all like "WTF???" next time I see you, aren't you. Don't worry man, you just have the right shaped face for an evil lord. The facial hair kinda helps, though it isn't perfect. Also, 16 = 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 = 2^2^2 = sexy.

Sack races should be combined with three legged races. Two people in one sack. Two girls, one - no, no NO | ON . Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohelpimchainedtoawallhemakesmewritethesethingsmynameisoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Moving on. I enjoyed the time exploring. I would have gone farther except it's farther or father, I can never rememember, no, I got it right that I sometimes feel out of place. I don't know why I worry what people think of me. It never turns out bad. The people who dislike me are usually the normies. They must be purged by fire. Fire and slugs. Barring that, since it's like a law student, the rest of people I typically get along with. I keep expecting to weird people out and all that since my high school had so few like minds, if any.

I want to have a dance intermission here, but I can't figure out how to type this. So if you could stop a moment and just dance, that'd be awesome. Music would be nice, but not necessary. Monica, I know you'd do that. Who's in the room with you? George? Dance with him, come on, egg him on. Tell him that I said to. That'll do it.

Thanks Monica, I knew you'd come through. Unless of course you ignored all that. Then I guess you'll just have to pretend you did, for my sake, and live this lie for the rest of your life unless you want to break my heart. I'm referencing peeps, but I'm doing it in inproportionate amount. Screw that word's spelling. Hard and for hours, with cuddling afterward. So I guess I should spread the love? I don't know. The moment's gone. Gone forever. It packed its bags. It said by to mother and father. Promised its mother it had enough money, even though it had gone around and cleaned out the cushions, the swear jar, the pen jar, and everywhere it could for change. It'll make it. Somehow. It...has to. They're all relying on it.

Wow that was so sad right now, guys I am crying so hard I just went blind. I'm crying so hard that it's coming out of other orifices too.....I, I shouldn't go into any more detail. Hey, you, chained to the wall, got anything to add? C'mon man, I can't just write your whimpering. *Whimper* *Snivel* see it doesn't hold the same potency, does it? Fine, fine, make it alllllllallllallalall (recursive all) about you again and pass out. See if I care.

Nope, I'm done. I really could go on, I suppose. I could talk about video gaems, or my favorite webcomics, or my schoolwork, but I don't really want to focus on all that. This is meant to be for fun, not a diary. And no one just wants to read my opinions going on and on. A little of that will slip in, I suppose, like how Bethesda are full of twats or such, but I'll try to avoid it. For your sake. YOU THE PEOPLE. I LOVE YOU. HERE IS MY HEART.

Yea, I'm done.